Clearly incomplete but here is the feedback thus far:
1) Section 2: When referring to Alpin’s “Home” music video delete femme fatale (incorrect definition) but say something like….. lead singer who is the focus of the music video which uses the convention of visual story telling. We use a similar convention in our music video with the lead singer at the centre of the story thus awarding her iconic status…..
2) Heritage Britain, instead say representation of the wild Norfolk seascape. Also a little clumsy around audience. My memory of “Home” is that the artist is central to the story telling.
3) Costume: Moving away from the question. Remove from question 1 and use for question 2, here you explain that you have amplified the concept of a rising star by making the lead singer the focus Panel……of your digipak whilst also providing a visual link to your music video.
4) Narrative: don’t make sweeping statements by saying folk is usually folk and narrative based. This is inaccurate. Instead say we the convention of performance fused with story telling
5) Narrative: Your reference to the TV Drama “The Village” and Lucy’s esperate suicide attempt by placing heavy stones in her pockets is excellent . You need to say that you are explicitly using the convention of inter-textuality which is an important part of the language of music videos (Goodwin)
6) Editing: Avoid …a lot of music videos use…..Instead provide a specific example. Say something like the conventions of music video is that quick edits are used to synchronise with the beat. For example..
7) Second section of your evaluation of editing is a bit muddled and needs revising. I would delete what you’ve included and instead focus on the way you have challenged the conventions of colour alteration for signalling flashbacks (action which precedes real time).
At present mid Level 3, clearly revisions I've advised will strengthen. Focus on the question at all time.
Clearly incomplete but here is the feedback thus far:
ReplyDelete1) Section 2: When referring to Alpin’s “Home” music video delete femme fatale (incorrect definition) but say something like….. lead singer who is the focus of the music video which uses the convention of visual story telling. We use a similar convention in our music video with the lead singer at the centre of the story thus awarding her iconic status…..
2) Heritage Britain, instead say representation of the wild Norfolk seascape. Also a little clumsy around audience. My memory of “Home” is that the artist is central to the story telling.
3) Costume: Moving away from the question. Remove from question 1 and use for question 2, here you explain that you have amplified the concept of a rising star by making the lead singer the focus Panel……of your digipak whilst also providing a visual link to your music video.
4) Narrative: don’t make sweeping statements by saying folk is usually folk and narrative based. This is inaccurate. Instead say we the convention of performance fused with story telling
5) Narrative: Your reference to the TV Drama “The Village” and Lucy’s esperate suicide attempt by placing heavy stones in her pockets is excellent . You need to say that you are explicitly using the convention of inter-textuality which is an important part of the language of music videos (Goodwin)
6) Editing: Avoid …a lot of music videos use…..Instead provide a specific example. Say something like the conventions of music video is that quick edits are used to synchronise with the beat. For example..
7) Second section of your evaluation of editing is a bit muddled and needs revising. I would delete what you’ve included and instead focus on the way you have challenged the conventions of colour alteration for signalling flashbacks (action which precedes real time).
At present mid Level 3, clearly revisions I've advised will strengthen. Focus on the question at all time.